Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
