so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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