So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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