I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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