I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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