I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
