"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
