you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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