I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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