i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
