i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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