You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
