After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
