This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
