Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
