Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
