Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
