dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
