What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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