I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
