I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
