where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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