He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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