the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
