Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize