listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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