i think i have two assholes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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