your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
