i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
