i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
