awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
