Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
God, I missed his penis.
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