All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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