so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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