The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sorry about my life...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
