where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
