i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize