i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
