you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i now understand why vodka
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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