An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
pop tarts are not kleenex
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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