I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
