She is in my trunk
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
