how can u be prego again
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
