Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
