How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
