if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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