No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
