Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
