Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
