I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize