SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Green mimosas i think yes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
