you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
