I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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