she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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