I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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