why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
