What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
