i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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