Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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