I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
