my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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