i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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